My life

Lurching from one disaster to another...just a suburban princess trying to get by!



Sunday 25 December 2011

Have yourselves a merry little Christmas...

As I write this we are sitting in a sparkling clean house, food (and booze) in the fridge, presents under the tree, ready to go...except that we have a teenager (who could sleep through a riot, and kinda did a few days ago, but that is another story)...and he isn't awake yet despite the Christmas CD blaring!  The older kids will be coming for lunch...always a good thing.






Our hairy house guest is pottering around the garden enjoying himself...the cats are furking through the gifts...


Unfortunately the cats aren't as welcoming, they head for the hills when Wilko is in the house!


... I am reflecting on our blessings, which are many (even if I don't recognise them most of the time), and wishing you all a safe and happy festive season.


Jo  xxx

Friday 25 November 2011

And the winner is...

                                     Animal People


The winner of my Animal People book give away was Surely Sarah.


I have sent an email, please get your details back to me and I will get your prize straight out to you.


Thanks to everyone who entered.


Jo xxx


This review was part of Product Talk by Nuffnang



Wednesday 16 November 2011

Animal People - Review & Giveaway




This review is courtesy of Product Talk by Nuffnang

I love a good book, in fact I love to read full stop, often having several books on the go at once!  In the absence of books or magazines I would read a cereal packet.  

So when I had the opportunity to read and review Animal People by Charlotte Wood I was delighted.  I haven’t written a book review since school so it was a bit of a challenge.

                                   Animal People

Animal People follows a day in the life of Stephen Connolly, and it is a bad day.

Stephen is not a happy man, bullied by his mother and sister, unfulfilled by his dead end job and having decided his relationship must end he embarks on a day that goes from bad to worse.

Overlaid with the relationships between people and animals, and Stephen’s inability to relate, Animal People explores the best – and worst- of our society.

A great read, thoroughly enjoyable.  I haven’t read Charlotte Wood before, but I will be in the future.

Now for the giveaway.  I have a copy of Animal People for one of my readers.
  •  Just follow my blog and leave a comment about whether you consider yourself an animal person or not.
  •  For additional entries tweet and share on Facebook. 1 entry each, just leave a separate comment.

Entries will close 4.00pm Wednesday 23rd November 2011 and the winner drawn via random.org and announced on the blog.

Please make sure I can email you to let you know you have won!

Wednesday 2 November 2011

What the....?

My SS is my pride and joy.  

Great to drive, beautiful to look at.  

I am a Holden girl, always have been.


My husband traded her in on a FORD today...

Wednesday 12 October 2011

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Tuesday 20 September 2011

Carnival of Flowers – Part Deux


The Carnival of Flowers is a fine thing.  Yesterday's post was all about it.

Tourists flock to see the sights, hopefully spending all their hard-earned and boosting the local economy.

Unfortunately, it is hard to be a resident of a tourist destination.

The shops are clogged with flowers spotters; surely they should be looking at flowers and not in my way at the supermarket?

The roads are at capacity with people driving slowly, slamming on brakes if they see so much as a dandelion.  It is a source of constant amazement to me that people can drive badly when travelling that slowly, how can you drift out of your lane at 20 km/h? Caravans and buses abound, taking up multiple parks and sideswiping the unwary.

People will park wherever the hell they want, too close to an intersection/bus stop/driveway, but surely road rules don’t apply to THEM, they are tourists!

Pedestrians lose their minds, walking straight across the road, all common sense forgotten.   The worst are the oldies, pouring off the coaches and stumbling around in everyone’s way.
 
The park was full of screaming, badly behaved kids running riot.  Mind you, if my kids were that feral I might let them off the leash in the park in a desperate attempt for peace.  This theory fails though, ‘because everyone else’s brats are doing the same! Bedlam.

Normally we do one of two things.  Either we get out of town and go to the coast, or we hide out at home with the gates shut.  This year we did neither and suffered the consequences.

The flowers will still be there another day; we should have waited until the crowds weren’t.

Monday 19 September 2011

Carnival of Flowers

It's that time of the year again.  

The Toowoomba Carnival of Flowers.

Times have been tough recently for our fair city so this weeks carnival is an important event on the calendar.



Nothing says spring like the millions of blooms, carefully planted en masse, and perfect spring weather.  The parade as usual was big and showy, apparently the best attended yet.  With open gardens, craft markets, bands and orchestra, side-show alley, it was all here.


The Flower Food & Wine Festival, with cooking demonstrations by celebrity chef Ben O'Donoghue and gardening demonstrations by the legendary Don Burke, was a huge hit as always.  How could it not be?


While the party is now over there is still plenty to see, hopefully without the crowds, so why not pop along and see our beautiful city for yourself? 

Tomorrow : Part II The down side ('cause with me there always is!)  

Wednesday 14 September 2011

Tuesday 13 September 2011

Unexplained...

Our house always had a warm feeling, like home, part of the reason we bought it.  Yes we loved the look, the features, the location, but we saw that in others...when we first walked through the door we knew that this would be our home.

I am not sure what I really believe but we live in an old house and have seen things we couldn't explain.  Nothing spooky, more comforting.

Not long after we moved in both my husband and I both separately saw a figure in the hallway...it felt like a welcome and being "checked out".   I always thought if I saw something like that I would be terrified, but not in this case. 

I was going through some photos I took recently and came across this one.

My cats went nuts one afternoon for no reason I could see, so being a bit snap happy I took a couple of shots.  Most showed nothing but when I looked at this one I could see an "orb" near the picture frame.

Weird...
Do you believe?  Have you experienced anything you can't explain? 


FYBF

Thursday 8 September 2011

New & Old...

I am out and about today, so I thought I would leave you with a couple of shots from around my house.

The house is over 100 years old and still has a few old features, character we will call it.

Like my concrete laundry tubs...

Handy for drinks on ice too!


And the outside loo, not my favourite feature.  There is another indoors, don't worry.  The outside one is designated for the "boys".

Useful during parties or gardening!
We do have all the mod cons too, but where's the fun in them!


Wednesday 7 September 2011

Tuesday 6 September 2011

The biggest losers...


Ok, I may well lose readers over this post. Sad but if you feel that way then don’t let the door hit you in the arse on your way out.

There was an online article yesterday regarding some former “Biggest Loser” contestants complaining that they have put their weight back on again. Read it here.

Poor diddums.

They were contestants on a reality game show.  The TV station, producers, crew, even the trainers are there because they are being paid to provide entertainment.  Even Hayley (so much more sincere than AJ Courtcase) is there for the bucks. It doesn’t have much to do with how good you are at achieving weight loss at the end of the day, it is how well you play the game, and after all, that’s why you are there.

The sole purpose is to amuse the public, to make us feel superior (or inferior as the case may be), to watch people at their worst, tearing themselves and others down.  To provide a voyeuristic public with a view of fat people at their very worst.

The show takes people who clearly have huge problems, in a lot of cases horrible personalities and no shame whatsoever, and throws them to the mercy of some pretty twisted individuals who torture them for our viewing pleasure. Possibly the worst torture for all is that they are forced to do it in Lycra, while being screamed at and filmed from terrible angles.

Now these people are fat because they eat too much and don’t exercise enough. Full stop.

There are reasons why they do this, the past, abuse, family dynamics whatever.  These are the reasons why mental health professionals exist, to help people deal with the underlying causes of their “issues” so that they can then take steps to get healthy.

It isn’t really how you look at the end that counts, it’s that you can be there for your family, be healthy, and lead the life you want.  TV being TV though it is all about the dream outfit, the make-over, the magazine shoots, dealing with the superficial rather than the real problems.
 
Unfortunately, deluded people who are looking for a quick fix sign up for this show in droves, expecting miracles and when they don’t get them are looking for someone to blame.

In the article a former contestant who lost 25kg, a great effort you say, yes, but still dangerously overweight, has now piled on over 40kg since she left the show. And she is angry, I would be angry to, with myself though, not the show.  The show didn’t make her stop all exercise and eat the amount that it would take to put on that kind of weight. That is some dedication there.  The show stopped when she walked off-stage and back into her life.

Of course real life is going to get in the way, no-one has 8 hours a day to exercise, not much of a life anyway if you did, but the simple truth is that if you burn more kilojoules than you consume you will lose weight.
 
Now to do that you need to get your shit together, review your life, relationships whatever. Get help sure.  You also need to take responsibility for your own actions. No-one is holding you down and shoving the food into your mouth, step up and get on with it.

Alcoholics and drug addicts have to go through some pretty shitty things to get well, so why should food addiction be any different.  It is though. You can successfully navigate life without booze and drugs, it isn’t easy but you can, but you have to eat food to live…and it is everywhere - every magazine, TV shows galore, billboards. All of these addictions will trash your life and more than likely kill you, but there is no sympathy for the fat.

Society would never stand for a show with mentally ill people working through their problems in such a way but it is socially acceptable to laugh at the obese, whatever the reason for their size, including mental illness. To view them as entertainment. The TV stations are just cashing in on that…it’s their function.

But as long as people line up to get their fat arses on TV then people will watch. 

So if you are really serious about weight loss, get help, go for a walk, eat your veggies, whatever it takes but don’t blames others for your own behaviour.

It is sad, but probably the biggest losers are those who learn nothing from their experience.

Note: I am extremely overweight and struggle every day.  It is a process that I have to work though myself, a position I got myself into.  It is no-one’s fault but mine and I own it. If it was a matter of will power I would be a size 8, I quit smoking cold turkey several years ago and never looked back, that was easy, I just stopped.  It took a long time for me to get this size and will take a long time to get healthy again.  Everyone of has our own challenges, for example some people are just born arseholes, and there is no fixing that. I will do it though….and no Lycra shots I promise! Support is nice but not expected, I won’t bore you to tears with every kg lost, but I will be putting regular updates on the blog to keep myself accountable.  xxx
FYBF

Friday 2 September 2011

Disaster…

A friend of mine recently shared a couple of her own recent disasters on Facebook inspiring this list of my own top 10 disasters.  Here’s to you V!

There have been many occasions in my adult life when my bad luck, bad decisions  or general clumsiness and inability to stay on my own two feet – especially when sober – have caused disaster.  Drunk I am light on my feet and generally disaster free… maybe I should drink more often!

  • At 18, on one of the few occasions that year I was not three sheets to the wind, I slipped over, smashed my face into a wall and damaged one of my front teeth (it was repaired but alas some years later I lost it anyway).
  • I once fell up our back stairs whilst carrying laundry, landing on my left forearm; I didn’t break it but bruised the bone and suffered pain, weakness and numbness for weeks afterwards.  This is by no means the only time I have fallen UP stairs, just the worst.
  • One New Years Eve (in the 80’s) I decided to wear a white lycra mini dress to a function…with BIG hair and red stilettos.  Disaster enough I hear you say, but no it was worse than that.  I had decided to team it with some lovely lacy underthings, problem was it was all ABSOLUTELY SEE-THROUGH…a fact that was lost on me until roughly half-way through the evening….
  • There was the time at MrQ’s work Xmas party where, after ½ a glass of bubbly I turned my ankle and fell flat on my face in front of his entire office, I didn’t break the glass, in fact managed to keep a hold of it, but wore the contents across my face leading to evidence of unwise, non- waterproof mascara choices.  This fall led to crutches and a limp for weeks.
  • The “laundry incident” earlier this year where I dislocated my right shoulder thus rendering myself unable to write, type or drive for weeks – these being the main activities of my occupation this was a problem. I could still talk though so all was not lost!
  • Many years ago, whilst learning to drive when I snapped the indicator stalk off the steering column of the car, we were a couple of hundred km’s from home and I was not popular.
  • Once when unpacking the dishwasher I unwisely pulled out both the top and bottom racks, leading to the machine tilting just enough for the bottom rack to shoot out across the kitchen, depositing 6 dinner plates, 2 bowls and an oven dish onto the tiled floor underneath the stove. There were no survivors.

And for a bonus “near disaster”:
  • Earlier this year whilst carrying a cheesecake  I “fell off” my wedges and performed one of those slow motion ” incidents” where you take a step to avoid a fall, have to repeat it to stop falling in the other direction and so on and end up running into something hard. Or is that just me? Anyway it caused me to cannon into my husband, who was carrying a carton of beer (all the food groups covered here), forcing him into a parked car.  Neither of us was hurt and his quick action saved both the beer and cheesecake…disaster averted.


So there you have it, my Top 10, can you beat it?


Disclaimer: This is by no means an exhaustive list as I am constantly adding to it. Also, regular followers will recognise some of these disasters from previous posts but they are up there in the top 10. 

Thursday 1 September 2011

Graffiti


Saw this whilst out and about in our town.

A little cleverer and more amusing than most graffiti I see...still annoying if it's on your wall though!

Just don't understand the need...

Wednesday 31 August 2011

Wordless Wednesday - Spring has sprung...



A couple of words - The reason we will never drink our tank water...bird poop!

I’ve linked up with  My Little Drummer Boys & Faith Hope & a whole lotta love for  Wordless Wednesday. Check out their blogs for more.  


Tuesday 30 August 2011

Don’t lie to me…

Honesty is such a lonely word
everyone is so untrue
Honest is hardly ever heard
and mostly what I need from you
(Billy Joel, 1979)

It seems to me that honesty is sadly lacking in our communities, something that is in some ways no longer the norm.

Every day the news is full of stories about dishonesty, even network news is not immune themselves!

Politicians, hell whole governments lie routinely.  The military, the medical profession, industry, the banks, they are all at it.

Everyone tells the odd fib, a little white lie here and there but where to draw the line?

As little kids we are told not to lie, lying is bad and naughty, indeed my son was always punished far more for lying than for anything he broke or did wrong, to this day he is brutally honest, maybe too honest sometimes but at least I can believe what he tells me! 

It is human nature to protect yourself, or someone else by bending the truth a little.

How much better would it be if the government (take your pick as to which one) stood up and said, OK, we mucked that one up, sorry, this is what we are going to do to fix it.  If a bank or company would stand up and admit they are not a charitable institution, they are to make money for shareholders whatever it takes…if an individual stood up and said, no, I am not going to do “xyz”, instead of stringing someone along with vague promises…

What you gonna do when it all comes out,
When I see you and what you're all about?
(Black eyed peas, 2005)

The problem is that it is easy to be cynical, to not believe anything anyone has to say…but that’s no way to live. 

We have to navigate the minefield that is everyday life and do the best we can. 

The best way is to be honest to ourselves and those around us. To exercise common sense and caution, to do our research (Google is a wonderful thing), but also to give the benefit of the doubt.

This post started as something very different, directed at a specific few who have let me down recently, mid-writing I changed direction, I just need to let it go and not be quite so trusting in future, which is hard for me as I want to see the best in people…

... sadly I get let down a lot.
FYBF



Wednesday 24 August 2011

Wordless Wednesday - Comfort

Lilly soaking up the late winter sun...Ignore the filthy window *blush*

Max, enjoying the warmth...and missing his Dad!

Click here to join in...


Sunday 21 August 2011

Fishy Business…

Fish tanks are great! Peaceful, relaxing, attractive décor items. 

We always had fish tanks; it was one of the first things we bought when we moved in together.

Over the years we nurtured our aquatic companions, feeding, cleaning, ph testing, rounds of chemicals and plants…it is quite a lot of work.  We didn’t mind, it was worth it…

We had quite a large tank set up in the lounge room of our home. Lovely.

One night, I was watching TV, maybe 9pm when I heard a noise.  Just a small dripping sound, nothing much.  It was raining and I thought it was just water dripping outside.  It got a bit louder, I investigated, couldn’t see anything, went back to my TV show.

Then all hell broke loose. 

The end piece of the tank caved in, and in such a way that the contents of the fish tank shot out at right angles for about a meter before striking the wall and floor…I didn’t quite know what to do. Well, you don’t do you?

It quickly became apparent that help was not going to be forthcoming, and my hands alone were not going to  do much against 300L of warm, fishy water determined to empty itself onto my lounge room floor.

Son, being a young teenager, therefore useless as tits on a bull didn’t even hear my screams…the neighbours two streets over must have, but not my boy! And husband had retired to the “bathroom” and was indisposed! Typical…

So I raced to the kitchen, grabbed some cooking pots and stuck them under the hole, nothing was stopping this baby but hopefully I could ferry some of the water outside and off my carpets!  Of course there is never a bucket when you need one…

The first emptying went well, a few splashes on the tiles near the back door but OK…the second, not so good.

You see, I didn’t factor the effect of bare wet feet on wet tiles whilst running with an overflowing pot of fish water…hmm, you can see where this ended up right?

Yes, in a scene that would have benefitted from the Benny hill soundtrack, as if in slow motion my feet slipped from underneath me, the pot went into the air, I landed on the back of my head, on the tiles, HARD.  Then the contents of the pot of water came to earth, or more precisely, my face, shortly followed by the pot. So not only did I nearly kill myself, but I flooded another room too.

My son had just emerged and witnessed my humiliation and whipped out to tell his father he thought I was dead, no checking on me though…OH NO!

When they emerged it was to find me, ice pack held to the back of my head trying to suck the water out of the carpet with the carpet cleaning machine, trying to stay upright…

Husband was despatched to find something to put the fish in, son called his elder brother to take me to hospital, by this stage I could barely speak and was shaking like a leaf, and I cleaned away feverishly…

It wasn’t until I got to hospital that we realised I had wet pants, from the fall of course, not sure anyone believed me though…

Skip to several hours later, a concussion and a soggy house.

I had never been concussed before, and hope never to be again…it hurts, and the dizziness and nausea are frightening.

Have you ever had to run carpet dryers throughout your whole house with a concussion? Then you haven’t lived! Those bastards are LOUD.

The final tally, 7 rooms water damaged, one fish tank destroyed, one head injury…memories best forgotten!

We don’t have a fish tank any more…turns out they aren’t that relaxing after all!

FYBF




Saturday 20 August 2011

Flying high…


Recently I had occasion to fly to Sydney and back. 

Mercifully short trips.

Those of you who read my earlier post, here, will know that I am not a happy flyer.  I don’t fly too often, but there are things that I have observed that seem to happen EVERY, single time.

Boarding is announced, and regardless of who is invited to board first, everyone in the terminal rushes forward, hell bent on getting there first. There are several reasons why this is un-necessary people! 

First, and maybe most obviously, the seats are allocated, you aren’t going to get a better one by elbowing your fellow passengers out of the way!   

Secondly, what is the point of being first on when you have to keep getting out of your seat to let more casual passengers into theirs, whilst being smacked in the face with jumpers, handbags and laptop straps from the desperadoes trying to stuff their entire belongings into overhead compartments?  Honestly, am I the only person who checks luggage in this country? 

Lastly, there is ALWAYS someone who gets lost between check-in and boarding, do they forget they have a flight to catch?

Once settled and “comfy”, or concussed depending on the luggage your fellow aviators have smacked you with, there is the treat of the safety demonstration, as if, in the event of an emergency everyone isn’t going to run screaming for the exits, throwing the smaller and weaker bodily out of the way. Or is that just me? This last flight the Japanese couple I sat with, lovely people, sweetly copied everything the hostie did, including mimicking the putting on of oxygen mask, lifebelt and the brace position, I thought they were having a laugh, but no, DEADLY serious, maybe they knew something I didn’t!

Then we take off, and the second the seat-belt light goes out, multiple people fly out of their seats and hurtle to the loos, about 20 minutes after we boarded in the first place. Am I the only person who goes for a last minute, nervous pee before a flight?

After this, there usually isn’t much action, just the passengers who seem intent of becoming paralytic before we land, those who pee every five minutes, and the hosties, of either sex, who only manage to smile at the young cute guys, everyone else in an inconvenience apparently!

Then you start to descend, people seem to think they don’t have to raise their seats and tray-tables, surely the rules don’t apply to them!

When you land there is the instant chirping and pinging of mobiles, long before permission is given, because we all know everyone is far too important to be without their phone for an hour and a half! The instant the seat-belt light goes off, everyone, as one, stands up to get their bags, except the person blocking my way. No-one moves, everyone waits until the way is clear before then getting their bags ready, meanwhile the air gets hotter and hotter, as the people from the back jostle and push…hell.

Then there is the blissful moment when you move, when you burst out of the plane into the too hot/cold, exhaust filled freedom of the air-bridge, to be carried along by the mass of humanity determined to the first out of the doors, regardless of their seat allocation.

I really hate to fly! Maybe I should go business class in future… 

Friday 19 August 2011

Sick and tired…

This year got off to a bad start with “the mumps that stole christmas”  as my husband less than affectionately refers to it and then my dislocated shoulder…

… but I thought we were doing well this winter - no illness, not a sniff or a cough.

Until I went to Sydney that is...

…Two weeks on I am still miserable, not sick as such, but still not completely well.


Alternating blocked and runny nose, cough and croaky throat, more annoying than anything.
I have loaded up on the vitamins, drink a heap more water and tried to stay warm...have eaten a LOT of lozenges and throat pastilles, all to no avail. 

At least I can sleep for once, even though it would seem that I have been snoring loudly enough to wake the dead!  Makes a change to being the one listening to the snoring every night…

There is no point going to the doctor, there is nothing they can do, it is after all only a cold.   I am allergic to a lot of anti-biotics so am not keen to take anything unless there is absolutely no alternative!  Hives are even less fun…

So I will carry on with the tissues, my favourite for a cold are Kleenex Eucalyptus…bliss, Butter Menthols, Strepsils and Throaties, various inhalants, saline sprays and copious amounts of various vitamin supplements in the hope that I don’t have to go through a third week of this…

…and that my boys don’t catch it!

Thursday 18 August 2011

Queensland Girl in the city…


So, back to my conference tales.

After a hugely long day of presentations we were all ready to let our hair down.

The second night started much like the first, at a bar for a couple of drinks.  Surprised me again how busy it was, also how many snotty, loud, screamy toddlers were running wild and free around the bar.  Obviously Sydney’s idea of a crèche…

Then a short walk along King St Wharf to our venue, a BOAT!  We were going for a harbour cruise.  I am an even worse sailor than I am a flyer so you can imagine my joy.  As it was a surprise there was no time to take travel sickness medication, maybe a good thing in hindsight, I would have slept through all the fun!

A seven course set menu, with matched wines and an open bar…OMG!

Lovely food, great wine and a few bourbons.  My plan was to keep eating and drinking the WHOLE time to counter the waves of dizziness and nausea assailing me.
Luckily my plan worked, the only dodgy moments were the choppy bits under the bridge and on the turns, easily overcome with another glass of sparkling wine!

I spent a bit of time on the top deck with all the smokers taking in the views, and the fresh air!  And before you ask, no, I did not smoke.



The weather was perfect, the skyline far prettier at night.

All too soon it was over, we disembarked without incident, rather amazing given that the 20 of us had been giving the open bar a real workout!

On to another bar then for more drinking, and some people watching.

A rather forceful young local “lady” took a liking to one of my female companions, much to her horror and our mirth, the expression on her face was GOLD.

I decided to leave somewhere around the third round of shots, things were getting messy and I am now of an age where I know my limits…I know that will surprise some of you.

So back to the hotel, and straight to bed.

Needless to say, there were even less of us at breakfast the next morning and Berocca’s were issued at the door of our meeting room.  It was my first ever Berocca, they don’t warn you that you should wear sunnies for that first pee! It was a quiet first couple of hours I can tell you!

Then we had another magnificent meal, with wine (of course) in the dining room attached to the very swish bank’s boardroom that was our conference venue.

Eventually it was time to say goodbye, a dash across town, a rather stinky train ride to the airport – it may be convenient but…do people not understand what a bin is? That chewie is not actually a decorating feature…that there is such a thing as deodorant? Anyway…

I was at Sydney airport for hours before my flight, luckily as airports go it doesn’t actually suck too badly.  As is often the way, I ran into several sets of Brisbanites that I knew.

It gave me the chance to people watch, one of my favourite things.  As I sat there like a fool with tears in my eyes watching the reunions it reminded me of the best bit of the movie “Love actually”…the closing credits. “Interesting” clothing choices abounded, and I’m sure I saw Chris Lilley…

And then was the horror of the flight home! I halved my medication and stayed conscious…not my best move.

Sydney it was fun, thanks.