Queensland Girl in the city…

So, back to my conference tales.

After a hugely long day of presentations we were all ready to let our hair down.

The second night started much like the first, at a bar for a couple of drinks.  Surprised me again how busy it was, also how many snotty, loud, screamy toddlers were running wild and free around the bar.  Obviously Sydney’s idea of a crèche…

Then a short walk along King St Wharf to our venue, a BOAT!  We were going for a harbour cruise.  I am an even worse sailor than I am a flyer so you can imagine my joy.  As it was a surprise there was no time to take travel sickness medication, maybe a good thing in hindsight, I would have slept through all the fun!

A seven course set menu, with matched wines and an open bar…OMG!

Lovely food, great wine and a few bourbons.  My plan was to keep eating and drinking the WHOLE time to counter the waves of dizziness and nausea assailing me.

Luckily my plan worked, the only dodgy moments were the choppy bits under the bridge and on the turns, easily overcome with another glass of sparkling wine!

I spent a bit of time on the top deck with all the smokers taking in the views, and the fresh air!  And before you ask, no, I did not smoke.

The weather was perfect, the skyline far prettier at night.

All too soon it was over, we disembarked without incident, rather amazing given that the 20 of us had been giving the open bar a real workout!

On to another bar then for more drinking, and some people watching.

A rather forceful young local “lady” took a liking to one of my female companions, much to her horror and our mirth, the expression on her face was GOLD.

I decided to leave somewhere around the third round of shots, things were getting messy and I am now of an age where I know my limits…I know that will surprise some of you.

So back to the hotel, and straight to bed.

Needless to say, there were even less of us at breakfast the next morning and Berocca’s were issued at the door of our meeting room.  It was my first ever Berocca, they don’t warn you that you should wear sunnies for that first pee! It was a quiet first couple of hours I can tell you!

Then we had another magnificent meal, with wine (of course) in the dining room attached to the very swish bank’s boardroom that was our conference venue.

Eventually it was time to say goodbye, a dash across town, a rather stinky train ride to the airport – it may be convenient but…do people not understand what a bin is? That chewie is not actually a decorating feature…that there is such a thing as deodorant? Anyway…

I was at Sydney airport for hours before my flight, luckily as airports go it doesn’t actually suck too badly.  As is often the way, I ran into several sets of Brisbanites that I knew.

It gave me the chance to people watch, one of my favourite things.  As I sat there like a fool with tears in my eyes watching the reunions it reminded me of the best bit of the movie “Love actually”…the closing credits. “Interesting” clothing choices abounded, and I’m sure I saw Chris Lilley…

And then was the horror of the flight home! I halved my medication and stayed conscious…not my best move.

Sydney it was fun, thanks.

Dude… is that lippy on your teeth?

Now, before we start I would like to make it quite clear that MrQ wouldn’t wear make-up, I can barely get him to moisturise!  Shampoo, body wash, deo, aftershave balm and a teeth clean and he’s done, ready to go. And I am happy with that, he looks good and who wants a husband who spends more time in front of the mirror than them?

There has always been the need for actors and performers to wear make-up when they are working, I get that. 

Adam Lambert

There have also always been blokes who will wear make-up to create their public persona, to get noticed, to cause controversy…I understand that.

Boy George

Ben Affleck

I can also understand the need to cover up imperfections, to look your best, and I guess if a man feels the need to use make-up to do that then I am OK with that too.

Matt McConaughey

 BUT

Before the boys dip into the Revlon, slap on the Maybelline or trowel on the Max Factor I think a bit of guidance is required.  Something along the lines of:

Less is more:

Zac Efron goes girlie...

A natural look is best:

John Travolta channeling his "heart attack" look

Eye-liner has the word EYE in it for a reason:

Benji Madden

Joel Madden

Leave the blusher for the girls:

Daniel Redcliffe...who laid off the booze just in time.

Maybe skills should be taught in schools, at footy training and the office…

...cosmetic companies could clean up.

I myself am unconvinced, call me old fashioned, don’t want to share my lippy with my man.

What do you think?

Duck face…

No, that’s duck, duck…with a “d” not an “f".

There is a sad phenomenon sweeping the world, particularly in social media circles where people, most often young girls, or grown women who really should know better, post pictures of themselves pulling a “duck-face”.

Extensive 30 seconds of online research found these descriptions, shockingly though, the font of all wisdom, Wikipedia had nothing, seems even they drew the line…

From urban dictionary.com  (Please note, I selected the more pleasant descriptions – some people REALLY don’t like the duck-face!!!):

–  Similar to pouting. It is to express double the emotion of a pout, so instead of simply jutting out your bottom lip, you push them both out, making you look like a duck. –  A sad and tragic epidemic hitting young girls all across myspace and facebook usually found on girls who think they are flirty. –  A term used to describe the face made if you push your lips together in a combination of a pout and a pucker, giving the impression you have larger cheekbones and bigger lips. –  A facial expression utilized by attention-seeking teenage girls in which they push their lips outward and upward to give the appearance of large, pouty lips.

And then I found a treasure trove of duck face pics here…please find a few of my favourites:

First we have the amusing -

Derek Zoolander

 Then the deluded –

Ashley Tisdale...I don't actually know who the hell she is!

Megan Fox...possibly the  REAL reason why she was sacked from transformers!

 Then the disturbing –

Lisa Rinna...Might be time to stop with the surgery Lisa...just sayin'

...And then we have a special mention under the title 

“What the FUCK!!!!”-

Janice Dickenson...I'm speechless!

Now, I have chosen to show pictures of “celebrity” face pullers as they deserve everything they get and it is wrong to mock the afflicted, even if the affliction just seems to be being a teen aged girl.  Hopefully some of them will grow out of it.

So fess up, have any of you been guilty of the heinous crime of posting duck face pics on-line?

Who do you hate right now?

What with all the misery Mother Nature is bringing down upon our heads of late it seems that certain “celebrities” are having to step up their antics in order to be noticed.

Here is a handful I am hating at the moment in no particular order...

v  Charlie Sheen...at first it was amusing, now it isn’t.  Don’t think this will end well.  My heart goes out to his family.

v  Lindsay Lohan...yawn

v  Paris Hilton...wait a minute, where’d she go....

v  Sarah Ferguson...how does one repeatedly get into multi-millions of dollars debt, who the hell is lending this loser money? If I were Fergie I might pretend I wasn’t going to the in the UK anyway when the wedding I was not invited to was on...but I might at least pretend I was working to clear my debts...

v  Shane Warne...Why girls, WHY would you go there...I just don’t see the attraction myself! Seriously cannot be that much money, he is a has been (some may say never really was...)

v  Matthew Newton...Odd looking, questionable actor and frequently off his tits...how does he manage to get women to go out with him?

v  Ricky Nixon...WTF!  Rehab won’t save you...

v  Footy players who believe their own hype and invincibility *insert name here, there is a large list of these morons to chose from across all codes*...like it or not you are a role model so start behaving like it!  These fans, often children, pay your inflated salaries so give them what they deserve, great football.

And a special mention to the media who report on and created the frenzy around these losers and egomaniacs...shame on you!!!

This list is by no means exhaustive; there are many more celebrities I love to hate. 

So tell me, who do you just hate right now?