Wreck this

During the week my sister sent me a book for the hell of it, to torture me I'm sure. 

I have OCD tendencies, always have had.  It's very hard for me to start a diary or journal, or even a colouring in book as I don't want to spoil it.

So when this arrived it caused me some stress:

According to Penguin Books Australia : Think of Wreck This Journal as the anarchist's Artist's Way - the book for those who've always wanted to draw outside the lines but were afraid to do it.

Drawing outside the lines, are they crazy?

The book includes many acts of vandalism, including poking holes in pages, rubbing pages with dirt, use a page as a napkin, wiping your feet, you get the idea.  I don't think I can bring myself to do many of the activities requested, but there are a few fun things I can get on board with.

I'll be collecting stamps from my mail, doing some drawings and generally try to extend myself and have some fun.

What about you? 

Could you wreck your journal or does the thought of messing something up on purpose bring you out in hives?

Love Jo xxx

Get it right!

One thing I really hate with a passion is some people's inability to construct a sentence.  Not being able to tell the difference between your and you're, there, their and they're or lose and loose.

 

I can barely contain myself on social media as gross grammar crimes are committed with increasing frequency.  Is it so hard to read what you're writing before you post it?

 

I was discussing this very thing with my sister the other day, she's the same, can't stand bad grammar.

 

Today I found a story about a real estate sign that was marked and graded by an obviously perfectly normal, well adjusted individual, as one would when confronted with such a grammar disaster. 

 

 

Here's the original story

 
My only concern with this story is the website's referring to the marker as a nerd.  I think not.

 

 

If you're in any doubt, here's a quick guide to commonly confused words and their meanings.  You're welcome.

 

 

Love Jo xxx

Hmm...

Now I find myself on the wrong (or right side depending on your view) side of 40, I've noticed a couple of things. 

    - I've come to the sad conclusion that current music is crap, not all of it I will grant you, but the vast majority.  I look back to the late 80's and my teenage years as the height of musical brilliance.

    - Kids in shopping centres, or anywhere really.  Now my kids are grown and we are in a holding pattern awaiting grand-kids my tolerance levels have dropped dramatically.  Nothing, well not much anyway, bothers me more than whiny, or worse shrieking children running amok.

    - Whilst on the subject of kids, it really bothers me the number of young girls dressed like tarts.  We wore mini skirts and shorts when I was a kid, but today's clothes retailers really have sunk to new depths.

Of course there are many more things that bother me as I get older and crankier, but these are pretty much at the top of the heap.

What do you find annoys you now you're getting older?

Love Jo xxx

Tits, Tatts and my new life

This year I have had my life turned upside down, quite literally.  I am no longer a home owner, a business owner or have a little boy.

Now don't panic at the last statement, it's all for the better.

We sold our house.  If you have ever owned a Colonial Queenslander you will  know that whilst they are beautiful, they are a bastard to maintain and basically a money pit, sapping your time,  money and all your energy.  I had loved my house, no doubt about it, but it was time to move on, a lot of bad shit happened in our lives while we lived there.

We now live in a lovely townhouse, in a beautiful quiet part of town, with no maintenance, not even gardening, an en-suite, WIR and all for 2/3 the price of our mortgage!  Loving it...and the stairs are doing wonders for my legs and arse but my knees do seem to crack and creak rather alarmingly, but as my doctor revels in telling me, I'm not getting any younger!

I finally accepted that my business was not doing me any good, it's demands had overtaken my whole life and quite frankly I just didn't have the strength left to keep it going. So it's sold, gone, kaput.

My little boy has turned 18, a shocking event that seemed to come from no-where. One minute  you are up to your eyeballs in shitty nappies and night feeds, the next they are working, out on the piss with their mates or sleeping.  We have just been informed that he intends to move out as soon as he can, and whilst I am sad I also have the packing boxes ready...

Recently I wrote about my run-in with a charming gentleman who loudly, and publicly appreciated my "magnificent tits", so I blogged about it...as you do.

Since Christmas I have lost almost 20kg.  Great I hear you say, I wouldn't recommend my method (illness) but I am happy with the results...still a long way to go though.

Of late, and by "late" I mean the last 20 years or so, I have barely bothered with make-up, blow dried my hair about twice a year and was often to be seen out and about in baggy old trackies and sandshoes.  But no more.  In a case of fake it until you make it, I have started wearing make up, doing my hair and wearing better clothes, which makes me feel better, which in turn gives me confidence and a boost to me almost non-existent self-esteem.  It is habit forming, in a good way. Now I don't spend hours batting my eye-lashes at myself in the mirror but am starting to give a shit about how I feel about me.  I have spent years worrying what others thought of me, deciding that it wasn't much, so I just didn't bother.  I am not doing it for anyone but me (and maybe hubby, he appreciates that changes but loved me for who I has before) and I'm enjoying it.

I have decided to reward myself for every 5 kg lost.  The first 5 was with a navel piercing, the second a teeny, tiny piercing in the top of my ear and the third...

...those of you who follow me on twitter will know that I got a tattoo this week. My first.

I have always wanted one but was too concerned with what people would think of me to go ahead, but no more! (sorry Mum)  I now have a lovely butterfly tattooed on the inside of my wrist.  It gives me hope and strength and represents the positive changes I am making in my life.

Now you may ask, did it hurt? Hell yes, it hurt. But only when the needle was in my skin, and it was a good pain, a cathartic experience washing away a lot of old baggage.  The most painful part of the whole experience though was the crap music playing loudly in the background, dunno what it was but is it too much to ask for a little Adele? I think not! Made me feel so, so old.

I am now very close to the 4th target now and am going to get some pampering from the girls at Ella Bache...

So in a nutshell, a big one I'll agree, that's where  I'm at.  Taking some time out, getting well and working out where life will take me next.

And loving it!

Jo xxx

Disaster…

A friend of mine recently shared a couple of her own recent disasters on Facebook inspiring this list of my own top 10 disasters.  Here’s to you V!

There have been many occasions in my adult life when my bad luck, bad decisions  or general clumsiness and inability to stay on my own two feet – especially when sober – have caused disaster.  Drunk I am light on my feet and generally disaster free… maybe I should drink more often!

• At 18, on one of the few occasions that year I was not three sheets to the wind, I slipped over, smashed my face into a wall and damaged one of my front teeth (it was repaired but alas some years later I lost it anyway).

• There was the fish tank explosion leading to my concussion.

• I once fell up our back stairs whilst carrying laundry, landing on my left forearm; I didn’t break it but bruised the bone and suffered pain, weakness and numbness for weeks afterwards.  This is by no means the only time I have fallen UP stairs, just the worst.

• One New Years Eve (in the 80’s) I decided to wear a white lycra mini dress to a function…with BIG hair and red stilettos.  Disaster enough I hear you say, but no it was worse than that.  I had decided to team it with some lovely lacy underthings, problem was it was all ABSOLUTELY SEE-THROUGH…a fact that was lost on me until roughly half-way through the evening….

• There was the time at MrQ’s work Xmas party where, after ½ a glass of bubbly I turned my ankle and fell flat on my face in front of his entire office, I didn’t break the glass, in fact managed to keep a hold of it, but wore the contents across my face leading to evidence of unwise, non- waterproof mascara choices.  This fall led to crutches and a limp for weeks.

• The “laundry incident” earlier this year where I dislocated my right shoulder thus rendering myself unable to write, type or drive for weeks – these being the main activities of my occupation this was a problem. I could still talk though so all was not lost!

• Many years ago, whilst learning to drive when I snapped the indicator stalk off the steering column of the car, we were a couple of hundred km’s from home and I was not popular.

• Once when unpacking the dishwasher I unwisely pulled out both the top and bottom racks, leading to the machine tilting just enough for the bottom rack to shoot out across the kitchen, depositing 6 dinner plates, 2 bowls and an oven dish onto the tiled floor underneath the stove. There were no survivors.

• There were the mumps that stole Christmas.

• My first “real relationship” was a disaster, luckily the second (and current one) cancelled it out.

And for a bonus “near disaster”:

• Earlier this year whilst carrying a cheesecake  I “fell off” my wedges and performed one of those slow motion ” incidents” where you take a step to avoid a fall, have to repeat it to stop falling in the other direction and so on and end up running into something hard. Or is that just me? Anyway it caused me to cannon into my husband, who was carrying a carton of beer (all the food groups covered here), forcing him into a parked car.  Neither of us was hurt and his quick action saved both the beer and cheesecake…disaster averted.

So there you have it, my Top 10, can you beat it?

Disclaimer: This is by no means an exhaustive list as I am constantly adding to it. Also, regular followers will recognise some of these disasters from previous posts but they are up there in the top 10. 

20

Twenty years ago today MrQ and I took a leap of faith and moved in together.

We had not much more than each other and the kids but were blissfully happy…

                  and SO YOUNG!!!!!!

I was thinner, he had more hair, God we were spunks!!!

20 years on, we are still happy, everyday life wears the edges off the bliss, but life is like that.  How boring would it be if there were no ups and downs, no challenges to work through together?

Life is more comfortable now, settled.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

Love you more than ever babe.  xxx

After birth...

Inspired by the ever funny Mrs Woog I have decided to share some of the glamorous photos taken before and after the birth of my son. 

Pop on over to see what she had to say, it’s OK, I’ll wait…

  

There was no money for beauticians so I went with the natural look. I was very lucky in pregnancy; it was the best my skin, hair and nails have ever been!

 Anyway, at this point I was beyond caring, two weeks overdue with a big baby in the heat of late summer my look was the last thing on my mind!

There are no delivery room shots, things were too serious for that, there aren’t even any shots for a couple of days after, I was too sick for that!

Between admission and induction, I was feeling pretty good about things at this stage… 

Sexxxy...

Several days later, the drip is out so it is after day 4…I swelled up like a balloon!

Oh dear....

My precious, made it all worthwhile...

All together now...awwww

 How about you?  Care to share???

In the unlikely event that you do not already follow Mrs Woog go and check her out...

Serious Business…

In real life I own a small business, maybe not a very exciting or sexy business to most, but it’s mine.

I provide risk (life) insurance advice to families and small business.  Again, not really exciting to most but it is something I love to do and a subject I am passionate about.

I have made a point not to blur the lines between my business and my personal blog but, as I am committed to making sure that families are protected please indulge me the odd post.

It is a fact that the majority of the Australian population are under-insured when it comes to life cover. That is both sad and frightening.  That means that most of the population have not taken steps to protect their family financially in the event that something happens to them… or if they have they haven’t been advised properly or educated enough about the options available.

Think about it for a second, you insure your house or your car without blinking an eye, but what about your income? What if you die, or can’t work for a period of time? What happens if you have to spend your hard earned savings on unexpected medical costs? That’s assuming you have savings to fall back on…

Life insurance is easy to arrange, doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive, and despite popular opinion, most of you won't have to undergo medical tests or fill out lots of paperwork.

A broker (like me) works for you, not an insurance company, to find the best deal for your individual circumstances and budget.  I don’t charge you a fee for arranging cover, or for the years of ongoing service required, not even if you have to lodge a claim.

As with everything else, you really do get what you pay for when it comes to life insurance, but a broker will make sure that you have the best cover in the market for you and your family.

I encourage you to think about life insurance for your family, contact a broker and see just what they can do for you.

If you are interested in having a chat, or just getting more information, pop along to my website and see what it is all about.

Small things…

You all know what it’s like, you are having a rough patch, things aren’t going as you had hoped, or everything just gets on top of you.  It doesn’t even have to be that dramatic, we have all had times when you wonder why you bother, who cares anyway, it doesn’t matter what you do things just don’t go the right way.

There is huge pressure to be happy, to live the perfect life, to do your best ALL the time! To keep a perfect home, be the perfect parent, wife, lover…whatever.   There are news stories, TV shows and even blogs dedicating themselves to this end…and that’s not bad, if it works for you great.  I read these and sometimes it just makes me feel sad, or inferior or just plain pissed off.  I do my best. 

I’m an intelligent woman and should know better but sometimes the doubts trickle in, everyone else is so much better at “stuff” than me, but then I realise that no-one is perfect, a lot of people just don’t focus on the negative, it isn’t wrong to express how positive things are in your life, it’s just that I –and maybe some of you?- need to realise that just because it isn’t talked about doesn’t mean that these people don’t also have doubts and fears, bad days and problems too.

What we need to remember is things ALWAYS resolve themselves one way or another.  It may not be the perfect solution, it may not be the outcome you were looking for but the situation will pass…so no point beating yourself up of stressing about things, it is what it is and it’s how you deal with it that counts.   If we do the best we can as individuals and can hold our heads up high then sometimes that might just have to be enough.

Some things are out of our control and we just have to hang on and try to enjoy the ride…

…in the meantime, try to look for the small things that bring a smile to your face, make you chuckle or even just lift your spirits for a bit.

I found this little guy in the back of my pen drawer the other day.  Just a little throw-away gift from a supplier, but for some reason I like him, he brought a smile to my face on a not so great day, and sometimes that’s all it takes to get you through!

Identity changed to protect the innocent...

Love at first sight…

…I never really believed in the concept. 

Until I first saw the house which would later become our home.

Mr Q found the ad in the paper, dragged me along to a viewing with me telling him to keep right on driving when I saw the street.  When he pulled up outside I was transfixed, out of the car in a flash I was half-way up the path before his door was closed!

It was mid-winter of 2004, and I was in love!

Just walking in the door that first time it felt like coming home, like the house was giving us a great big hug.

Perfect for the three of us, the right price and right when our old house sold, it was meant to be.

Our house is great in winter, with lamps lit and the fire roaring, something cooking away in the kitchen, as it was on that first inspection day.

Mind you, she’s pretty good in summer too, with verandas, a huge back deck and shady trees all around.  At Xmas with the lights twinkling she is just beautiful.

Built in 1905, she’s changed a bit over the years but still retains her lovely looks.   She is quite small, more your cottage than full blown house, and with a teenager and a hoarding habit (mine) we seem to be bursting at the seams. 

The old girl needs some work, a few stumps to replace, the odd wonky floorboard, some paint, maybe a new bathroom…and we are trying to decide what to do next.  Do we sell?  Not what I want to do… Do we renovate? Not what Mr Q wants to do…both of us fiercely determined to get our way. 

But it looks like soon it will just be the two of us, with the teenager making some big decisions as we speak, and then she will be the perfect size again…

And for the record, the street is fine!!!

Muzak? No thanks...

...far to quiet and mellow for me!

I used to listen to music ALL the time; at the very least the radio was always going in the background...

...there was live music in pubs and clubs, music in nightclubs, live concerts...loud enough to feel, the louder the better, so loud it hurt! Smash Hits on a Saturday morning, Rage at night...

These days I generally only listen to music in the car, and now I work from home I don’t get out nearly as much as I used to.  I do still listen to it LOUD though.

I will listen to anything from rock and roll to pop, hard rock and country. Some Eminem brings a smile to my face, Black-eyed peas, Nickelback, Dixie Chicks, The Corrs...

I generally don’t mind the odd bit of classical, but I won’t go out of my way to listen.  Show tunes don’t do much for me either.  Lady Gaga doesn’t make the list, but Katie Perry does...

So what do I love?  My tastes are stuck in an era that corresponds to my childhood and teens...ACDC, Cold Chisel, The Angels, Choirboys, Jimmy Barnes, Meatloaf,ABBA and a lot of the power ballads of the 80’s & 90’s...pretty much anything that I can get a really good howl going to in the car!  I love to sing; yes I am awful, but alone in my car with the music turned way up I am truly happy bellowing away...

MrQ enjoys much the same, with the addition of The Doors, The Beatles and Crowded House.

My son hates “popular music”, he is into alternative, it just so happens some of what he likes has become mainstream thanks to movie soundtracks, which disgusts him!  He is a complete music snob about manufactured “crap” as he calls it...but with the advent of the iPod we tend not to be subjected to it.  I’m sure the same applied when I was young; I just wouldn’t have voiced it quite so forcefully to my parents!

What is your favourite type of music, artists or musical era?

Missing...

Can you miss someone you have never met?

In December 1999 we went through a lot of changes, new jobs, new town, we changed pretty much everything.

New Years Eve I got sick, really unwell.  I was not well for the next few days, eventually going to the doctor on 6^th Jan, long story short, she sent me to emergency.

Turns out I was pregnant...totally unexpected but not unwelcome.

In the hour between the test coming back positive and that first ultrasound I had totally accepted the thought of a new baby...was excited at the prospect.

One thing lead to another and it turned out that it was ectopic.  They sent me HOME.

I made it two more days...ended up back in emergency.  I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t stand, I wouldn’t let them touch me, I couldn’t even pee...

I learnt a few things that day:

R  Morphine doesn’t stop pain; it just stops you caring about the pain

R  It really sucks to be scared and in pain and drugged out and to listen to the patient in the next cubicle having a psychotic episode.

R  You never want the radiologist who gives you an internal ultrasound the be the wife of someone your husband works with so that you will see her socially forever more

R  Nurses are strong!!!  Well, the one who had to lie across me to stop me leaving during the ultrasound was...

R  Even if it is emergency surgery you have to wait 3-4 hours for them to get to you  

R  When the doctor tells you they can do keyhole surgery, sometimes they lie.

R  Unthinkable as it may seem they will put you in a maternity ward chock full of new Mums & bubs.

Everyone was kind, but after a little while people move on.  They expect you to as well.

Over 11 years later and I think of that baby almost every day.  In my mind it was a daughter, she would be 11 in August...

So as I asked, Can you miss someone you have never met?

The simple answer is, yes, you can.

A few of my favourite things...

After all of yesterday’s negativity I thought a nice, happy, non-judgemental post was in order.  Boring for some of you but the Seven Cherubs Happiness Project has made me think...

I do have a lot to be grateful for, sometimes I just forget in the day to day rush that is my life!

Here are a few of my favourite things, places and memories (I am not allowed to show pics of some of my favourite people):

My boy, now well over 6’ tall!

2 Weeks old and I'm exhausted!

My Home, my sanctuary – also my place of business, gotta love that!:

My Queenslander...

My cats, who are more like babies, but toilet trained:

Lilly & Max

This kitchen dresser we rescued and restored.  There is another patiently waiting for us in the shed:

There were a lot of hours devoted to this...

My wedding day (with my gorgeous niece, who is now a beautiful young woman):

A happy day...

The Sunshine Coast of Queensland, we usually end up here on holidays:

The Rock Pool, Kondalilla Falls, Montville

Of course this list isn’t complete,  just a few things I had photos of...

What are some of your favourite things, places or memories?

One month in...

Well my little blog is 1 month old today, it has been interesting, but also more work than I expected.

I love that people from across the world have visited, I love even more that some of you decided to follow me too! Mwah

People who have known me my whole life are learning new things about me and I am making some new friends along the way.

As I get more comfortable with it all I am sharing more, but in this first month I covered some of the big stuff, Beginnings, the early years, My BIG Mistake, Hysterectomy, Sisters and Changes.

And a fair bit of the smaller stuff too – Princes, Cyclists, Hookers and Baby talk.

I hope you are enjoying reading it as much as I am enjoying writing.

Changes

Ok, so I have hinted and skirted around the fact that I have some weight to lose, okay, a LOT of weight to lose.

I have lost heaps and gained it back with extra over the years.

The fact is I now have to lose approximately what a whole person weighs.

While I have been overweight for my whole adult life the last 10 years have seen me really pile it on.  A combination of stress, depression and hormonal issues has led me to the situation I am now in.

My health is starting to be affected, my doctor is on my back to make changes, and worse (to my fucked up mind), my sister has recently lost a huge amount of weight.

I don’t want to live this way any longer, the smirks, the comments, the feeling like crap need to stop.  No sure why people HAVE to be assholes, at least I can lose weight, they will always be assholes!

I have tried it all, the big expensive companies, weight watchers – online & meetings, shakes & fads, nothing has worked for me.  So last week I bit the bullet and went to see a Dietician, she was lovely.  She gave me the confidence to address some things in my life and a general guide to eating.   It isn’t so much my meals that are the problem; it is all the other shit I eat too!  She also suggested counselling, meh, am so not going there!

I don’t feel strong enough to actually put my weight out there for now, or a picture! But I will share that I would like to lose 58kg...brings tears to your eyes hey?

So, I work best when I am accountable, so I figure that this is the way to go for me.

I have added a weight loss tracker to my blog which I will update every week.

I will set myself a challenge every week to make a permanent change in my life...big or small, just so long as I change SOMETHING.

I am going to change my life for the better and invite you to join me as I do.

So this weeks challenge is to drink more water, and trust me it is a challenge for me to drink enough!

What changes do you need to make in your lives?

The early years...

I was born in the UK...don’t hold it against me!

I had a happy, secure childhood.  I knew I was loved; my family were stable and caring.

We were a small family. Mum, Dad and three kids.  For the record I was, and am still funnily enough, the eldest.

In my younger years we moved a lot, every couple of years for Dad’s work.  At one stage I was at 6 different schools in less than 3 years...Imagine being the new kid that many times in a short period.

When I was twelve we left everything and everyone we knew behind and emigrated to Australia, Perth to be exact.  I had stated high school in the UK, had to go back to primary here as I was too young for high school, so no trauma there!  It was very odd, the kids were so different, of course where we lived there were a high proportion of surfers, so very different.  It was a much more outdoor type of lifestyle.  They taught religion in state schools, not something I was used to!

When I was about 14 we finally stayed in one spot long enough for me to make good, lasting friends...people I am still in contact with today.

I guess my upbringing made me stronger and independent, I have lived thousands of km’s from my family for my entire adult life, not to get away from them, just because that’s the way it worked out.

I do however have a tendency to be a bit of a homebody these days.  I am happy to stay in our lovely home with my family, and tend not to be one for a huge social life or have a need to be around people all the time.  I had to adapt to not having many people to rely on close by and therefore sorting out my own problems.  I do find it hard to “share” problems or feelings with others, hence this blog.  It is almost like a friend, there to listen without judging me.

I do suffer from near crippling shyness at times, it is very hard for me to talk to people in social or group business situations...but put me in front of a client and I am fine.  I guess it is because I am confident and secure in my working life, as it is really not about me.

This year I have joined a business networking group, to make it work I HAVE to step out of my comfort zone and speak to new people and stand up in front of the group every week to talk, it is already having a positive effect on my confidence.

Do you struggle in social situations amongst people you do not know well?

My BIG Mistake...

Everyone is entitled to one BIG mistake right?

Mine came in the shape of my first “real” boyfriend.  I was 18 and thought I was in love.  I won’t name him here, he is no longer important.

The short story is that he was in the armed forces, was posted to Queensland and I followed.  I moved away from my family and friends, everything I knew, across the country to be with this man.

We didn’t last out the year.

He cheated...a lot, and he was emotionally abusive.  It took me a while to get over it but I came to the conclusion that love doesn’t hurt like that.  If someone really loves you they won’t make you feel that way, worthless and insecure.

I am still vaguely annoyed with myself that I put up with it all for so long...what was I thinking? 

Still, I emerged stronger and far less willing to put up with other people’s crap. 

I never moved back to Perth. Sheer stubbornness, plus a great job and new friends made me stay in Queensland.

It was the best decision I ever made...

What was your big mistake?

3 years....

In a few days it will be three years since I quit smoking.

I was lucky, I decided to quit and I did.  Cold turkey, no problems.

I think the key is I didn’t enjoy it any more.  I didn’t enjoy the cost, the health effects, the smell, and the social isolation, the having to go outside in the cold or rain or stand near the bins for my fix...pathetic.  More importantly, I just went right off the taste of cigarettes.

I started smoking in my mid-teens, and smoked on an off until my late 30’s.  I quit a couple of times over the years, didn’t smoke when pregnant or breast feeding, but always went back.  Mostly because I enjoyed it.

I now can’t stand the smell of cigarettes...as they say; there is nothing worse than a reformed smoker.

Do I see a difference in my health?  Definitely.   I have less allergy symptoms, colds don’t turn into chest infections, I don’t get out of breath doing light exercise, and I generally feel better in myself.

Did I put on weight?  You better believe it! A LOT! I was overweight before but now it is a major issue, and my next project.

Do I see a difference in my finances, not really.  But I guess I switched to driving a V8 at roughly the same time so that absorbed the extra cash.

Now the harsh truth, are there days, even now, where I have the urge to smoke...yes there are.  Do I feel like a smoke writing this post, maybe.

Would I do it?  No way!

Hysterectomy and me...

A hysterectomy at age 36 was not in my plans.  In fact, we were vaguely thinking of more babies.

Then came endometriosis.  I guess it had been lurking in the background for years, a nagging feeling that “something” was wrong. 

Things started to go noticeably wrong in my early 30’s.  The first major sign was an ectopic pregnancy just after my 30^th birthday.  That sucked! 

From there things deteriorated quite quickly.  I will spare you the details but by far the worst symptom was the pain.  I have NEVER felt anything like it.  Debilitating to the point where the only painkillers which would work knocked me out for days...and this was every couple of weeks.

Eventually after rounds of truly evil hormone tablets, scans, tests and unsuccessful minor surgeries, my doctor told me how it was.  It wouldn’t kill me but would get WORSE; there were two choices, wait for menopause (yeah right) or have a hysterectomy.

I went back to the office and just cried, for about 5 minutes...then I called the doctor back to book myself in for the surgery.  I wanted my life back.  The doctor told me I would look back and see that it was the best thing I ever did.

The surgery and recovery were ghastly (well I was asleep for the surgery but you know what I mean); I wondered how I could be so stupid.  No keyhole surgery for me, oh no, laparotomy from hip to hip for this girl.  The doctor told me it was so bad he had to, and I quote “chisel it all away as the growths were like concrete”.

After the better part of 3 months off work (thank God for Income Protection insurance) I was back, better than ever.  Finally I was starting to see what he meant.

No periods, still get PMS though (sucks for hubby), no pap smears – ever again...hooray, and essentially no pain.  The condition is still there, I sometimes still feel pain, but it is rare and fleeting.

So five years on I can honestly say that yes, hysterectomy was the best thing I ever did for myself.