I am feeling stabby today!
It is only first thing and already people are lining up to be on “The list”.
To my neighbour, who has two horrible little poodle things. SHUT THE FUCK UP! There, I have said it. Your dogs give EVERYONE in the neighbourhood the absolute shits, barking if so much as a leaf falls. They are horrible and pointless... But what is worse is YOU. Your voice has a similar effect to that of nails on a blackboard, either shrieking baby talk at the dogs or shrieking for them to shut up, it doesn’t matter...and stop leaving your bin lid open so your rubbish blows over the fence into our yard...and to your husband, it isn’t normal to mow 3 times a week, and after dark, and in the rain!!!
To the tradies working on the house next door (not the same house mind, oh no, it is coming at me from all sides today!), I am working here, turn down your crappy music and stop yelling at each other...and a special mention to the fat, hairy one...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PULL YOUR SHORTS UP!!!!!
To the hooker two doors up, take your bins in ‘cause if they end up in my drive-way again I will run them down...and ask your “guests” to park in front of your place, NOT MINE.
OK...and to my gynaecologist, who convinced me that leaving my ovaries in place when I had my hysterectomy, therefore condemning me (and everyone around me) to eternal PMS without the relief of a period...there is a special place in hell for you!!!
Now, with that out of the way I need to go and find something to put on my list for Seven Cherubs' happiness project...